Dear Rhin O. Virus (aka cold germs):
It’s been nice getting to know you in the communal way; so thoughtful of you to visit the entire family via Bean’s daycare. However, I have too much to do right now to spend much time entertaining you. I am asking that you kindly pack up and depart ASAP.
Yes, I know that sugar suppresses immunity and makes this seems like an even cushier place to hang out and multiply. However, I HAD to eat those cookies. I’d been thinking about them for days. I worked my backside off last week and I’m still tired. I think I deserve a cookie or two, no?
Please be advised that I will be employing less-tasty methods to encourage your eviction soon; zinc, echinaechae, goldenseal, garlic, onions. Do note that the lack of dairy products around here; not so homey for the snot anymore, is it?
Your prompt departure is appreciated.