Flying Catch-Up

Flying in just before it’s been a WHOLE MONTH since we’ve posted… oops! We are still here, still thinking about posts, but they haven’t happened for a few big reasons. All is well; just many, many changes on the horizon. Some news and new things first, and then I’ll throw pictures at you, maybe, to catch up.

1. I am FINISHED with my former “real” job! My last day was Thursday; 5 months after giving notice, it was a sprint to the finish. I wrapped up as much as I could, copied some files, cleaned out my cubicle, turned in my keys and drove away for the last time. After 6 years of pack-rat tendencies and rather varied projects, even just the sorting and cleaning and deleting and recycling was a big deal. But now I’m FREE…to develop new things, to figure out how to finance our lives, to be home more with Bean. It feels good, it will be a new adventure.

2. I started my own business; I’m filed with the state, have a website and business cards, even have a new business credit card for keeping expenses separate. I don’t actually have CLIENTS yet, ahem, but that will come. I have a few things in mind that I’ll hear about soon. It’s a writing/editing/Personal Historian/oral history type service. If you want more details, email me or leave a comment.

3.Last but definitely not least... I’m pregnant! Yep, just over 12 weeks right now. I’ve been queasy a lot, which never happened with Bean, and its felt a bit more uncertain this time. But I think that’s part of a second pregnancy with a toddler to chase… there’s not time to sit and write in a pregnancy journal, etc. Due late July or early August… a summer baby!

So, yeah. That’s where we’ve been. I’m finally feeling a bit better, after recovering from the month-long cold/sinus/early pregnancy exhaustion. I made it through my last work days, and Bean is doing really well; talking up a storm and correctly identifying most colors without prompting (!). He’ll continue to go to his daycare 2 days a week so I can catch up on house projects, rest, and get this business going. Just a few things on the list...We’re busy and grateful. New lands ahead!


Bean is excited about my new "mobile office" briefcase!

Updates

Well, hello! I just wanted to check in a give a few updates, for those of you who are playing along at home.

My job, (or what the heck?): Yes, indeed, I finally made the leap last week. I sent a big serious letter to family members back in May giving my reasons for wanting to move on from my "good job" in town, but then was offered a temporary part-time situation, so I stayed. And tried to be happy. And tried to appreciate all the good things about that place. And so on and so on and BLAH! And now the part-time is ending, and I just am not ready or willing to do 5 days a week away from my home and son. Leaving feels good, even if scary from a financial standpoint. I've been agonizing over this decision for a very long time, and it feels SO good to finally have brain space again, not always thinking about what the right decision might be and what would this or that be like, or what. I realize I've made new challenges for myself, but I'm excited to face those new things.

Lyme Disease: I have just finished my antibiotics and feel much better. I'm slowly getting some energy back. Last week, I could hardly walk a mile without wanting to lay down for a quick nap. Today, I ran a ways and it felt really good. I've been motivated to get some exercise every day; trying to get back into it slowly. My rash is gone, but I still have a weird, peeling ring on my leg; ewww.

Our House: Yep, it is still tehnically "on the market", but we still have so much to do. We want to move to the Spiral Earth Land Cooperative, a group we are helping to form. They own land on the South Shore of Lake Superior, closer to the lake, near a wonderful sandy beach. We'd have to build our own home to live there permanently, so we'll have to sell this one first. And so, it may be a great, crazy adventure, but I'm feeling more energy these days (see job and lymes, above).

Bean: continues to be exceptionally cute, if I do say so myself, and into more things these days. He loves his grandparents and the great new (garage sale) toys they brought on their last visit. His words are increasing every day; Baby, Apple (with both syllables), No... it's a new world dawning, in more ways than one!

Onward!

We topped off the weekend with a little beach ramble, and a ceremonial swim for me! Brrr...Zing! Washing off the past, and moving forward for new, good changes! I have officially given notice at my "day job" and am planning to focus more on our family, our place and our community. Brave and crazy all together, indeed!

My Weekend

I turned 37 this weekend. I am officially old. But I am going to do new things and appreciate this life!

Helping Bean make me a card...(the one way to be sure I'll get a card from my household, ahem!)


Contemplating my next steps...


Which serindipidously involved a rare lighthouse tower visit; yay!




And taking a break at Spiral Earth. More soon!

Ticked Off

So. We had an interesting day yesterday. Can't remember the last time I was in an emergency room (maybe it was when I was 3 and stuck that raisin up my nose? I've been lucky). Sure didn't think I'd end up there yesterday because of a simple tick bite!

I first found a little bump and perhaps rash on my leg on Sunday; never saw a tick. But it was just on the top of my sock line; a suspicious place. By Monday is was bigger, so I brought myself to Urgent Care to get it looked at; really seemed like a bit of a Lyme rash and if so I wanted to start treatment right away. I've know a couple people who have suffered terribly from Lyme. Dr. said hmmm, maybe, here's a prescription if you want to fill it later if it spreads, or after the not-so-accurate tests come back in a week or so. It spread and began to hurt, so I started the antibiotics on Tuesday on the way to the big Women's Gathering in WI with Bean. The normal Lyme antibiotic treatment is not compatible with nursing, so I ended up with a not-so-strong type, hoping for the best.

Didn't feel better, felt worse and worse. The rash grew and grew, swelled up and stung like crazy. In hindsight, camping in a COLD tent with Bean (he was fine, I was cold) wasn't the greatest way to deal with this, but I really just thought it would be fine. Showed it to a doctor who was present at the gathering, and she said "Ooooh." And started mentioning MRSA, stronger antibiotics, etc. Most people agreed that it looked worse than Lyme, now. By the time my lips started to feel hot and I was limping, I decided to go back to Urgent Care.

At Urgent Care, the triage nurse took one look at it and also said "Oooooh!". And started mentioning the Emergency Room and intravenous antibiotics. So, me and my little tick bite were essentially admitted to the hospital, where we waited. Doctors finally came, said WOW and began conferring with each other. I had to correct one about an antiobiotic that's not safe for nursing, but to their credit they didn't give me trouble about nursing a young toddler, who is nowhere near ready to wean. We settled on a shot of a stronger antibiotic (which is considered safe with nursing, I told them where to look it up) and MORE amoxicillin. Just sitting with it up on bed for a couple hours made it feel better, and they pronounced it just a heck of a case of Lyme Disease, not MRSA or anything else ickier.

Not that Lyme isn't icky. I still feel sore, tired, a bit feverish. Took a 3 hour nap today with Bean. I guess the lesson is to LOOK FOR TICKS a bit more carefully after being in the woods. This one was likely very tiny, probably picked up on the South Shore near Spiral Earth (where we hope to live someday). I guess the one thing I'm grateful for is that Bean didn't get the tick. I had the same experience a couple weeks ago, when I got stung by a yellowjacket (OUCH!) in the grass where I was going to set Bean down. The thing that scared me the most was that he might have gotten the sting instead. I knew that Lyme was serious out East, but I didn't realize that Wisconsin is also an infection hot spot. Ug.



I've had requests for pictures of the exciting rash, so here it is, in all it's erythema migrans glory. The circle was from yesterday's doctor, so we could see if it was growing or shrinking. I don't think it's grown, but it hasn't shrunk yet, either. We're doing OK, just a few expected, ah, intestinal effects upon Bean, who is essentially taking the antibiotics along with me. We are pushing the probiotics. Rooting for the good microbes, not the bad! Onward...

Basket Case and a Bike

Hey! I know I've been slacking, but we are busybusybusy. I'm still absorbed with trying to figure out what the heck to do for work, and we're getting more serious about selling our house (getting it ready for showing will be a MONUMENTAL task, indeed). More on that later, I'm sure.

Bean is doing well, teething on and off, growing, eating, exploring. He's not QUITE walking yet, but there have been a few steps. Usually it's a few steps and then a lunge, but he's getting pretty good balance just standing up.I'll try to post a few pictures. The camera was full, then I downloaded everything at home, now I'm at work, finishing up with a second pumping for more milk. Multitasking, momma style, eh.

But here's a few of him discovering baskets; not really a basket case! Very cute, eh?




I also have some fun news of my OWN: I got brave and bought a new bike! Yep, brand new, just for me. Just saying those words feels fun; I'm not sure why it brings out the kid in me. It feels somewhat extravagant, but I've been thinking about it since last summer, and finally just got it together to go look at bikes, find one that fits, and manage to get it ordered and purchased, Bean on hip for some of that. Being a busy working mom, I've only gotten to ride it a couple times for a few minutes so far, but it makes me happy, and hopefully will get me out for exercise a bit more often.




And Bean will soon be able to ride along; we've also made the leap and ordered a Chariot; a super extravagance for us, really. But it will be a good investment in getting around without a car (we're down to one car right now). Someday sooner than later we hope to live within bikeable distance of the Lake, and this will be great. It will also be a jogging stroller; Bean is actually outgrowing our current nice stroller. Friends who have this system (even can use it for XC skiing!) swear by it, and are still using it with their 4 year old. So, also a good investment, with resale value, I'm told!

Whew. I NEVER buy new gear; I always buy used cars, I have a funky ugly used kayak, my lifejacket clashes with the boat because I bought it used, even my wetsuit is used (ewww). I don't buy new clothes or books, even, that often. But to get a bike that FITS me, and is my first choice is fun, and I feel like it's a good investment. This bike is a good fit for our bumpy gravel roads; shocks! Amazing! Such technology didn't exist the last time I looked at bikes, seriously.

I've never been THAT into biking, but that's perhaps because of my checkered bike-owning past. My current bike was purchased for $50 about 15 years ago. It's rusty, and the brakes don't completely let off (and I've been told they are unfixable). The last and only other bike I have purchased new (when I was 19!) was way too big for me; I ended up giving it to my Dad. Other bikes before that included a neighbor's purple super-heavy 10 speed Schwinn and an uncle's banana seat bike without brakes. That made learning to ride interesting!

But this is MY bike, and I hope to have many good riding times with it and my family. Back to our regularly scheduled crazy schedule...

Mom day

Happy Mother's Day to me and to all other moms out there! My mothering charge is a bit young to tell me much on this day, and I am STILL getting used to the idea that I'm a mom, myself. This year it feels a bit more normal than last year, though; last year was still a blur at this time.


Now our lives are getting to a different kind of blur, of ACTION! We had a brief sunny stop at the Lake on Friday, and Bean just wanted to head to the water. He even threw some rocks. It was hard to get any posed pictures, as you can see he was headed to the Lake! That's my boy...



It was a bit chilly, but he didn't care at all and would have crawled right in if we hadn't held him back. Someday soon, buddy. We'll all go swimming! I've been grateful lately that his birthday is in the spring; such a nice time of new beginnings and great days to be outside! His crawling has really improved in the last couple weeks and he wants to explore. So glad we can do it without snowsuits. Come on, summer!

Gratitude

Yes, I know. More positive! Gratitude! Joy! Fun! Smile!

I am indeed grateful for a loving care-giver for my son during the day. She is amazing and is willing to wear him on her back for his limited daytime naps. We appreciate that very much. My work schedule is just ramping up, and my Fridays (which used to be quiet home days with naps together, etc) are now spent at work/daycare with the associated heartache of that. And it doesn't help ME to think that he's happier with her, although I should be grateful that he's happy there, etc. I'm OK with him there a couple days a week, but now that I'm working toward full-time schedule (not my choice, only necessary for this job, which I need to keep for financial reasons) it causes me more stress. Need to be grateful for what we have. Am grateful. Mostly.

So, I tend to get a bit dramatic on Fridays. I suppose we'll get more used to it soon enough.

And I really have been reading some good stuff lately about the law of attraction and other positive thinking things. Trying hard to think about things we DO want rather than stuff we don't. Carry on...

Working Mom Whines

Vignettes from a reluctant working Mom’s life:

See Baby coming home smelling like another woman, the new daycare assistant whom we haven’t even met. Feel very viscerally wrong to have baby smell like a stranger.

See Baby falling asleep on the drive home AND on the drive in to town because he’s not really napping at daycare. Awake hours with baby in evening yesterday: 1. Total for day: maybe 3 (including drive to town and morning “get ready” time).

See Mom stressing about lowered mom-milk production, leading to more “quality” time with the pump at work and desperate middle-of-the-night “extra” pumping sessions. Ouch.

See house disintegrate into chaos due to lack of organization and being home for approximately 1.5 awake hours on most working days. Too messy for guests, cats or even smooth daily living. Ug.

See Mom’s mood deteriorate due to not having time to exercise (exacerbated due to snow, cold and darkness). See Mom argue with husband about a variety of things due to darkened mood.

See Mom eat cookies and drink coffee in desperate attempt to stay awake and get something done… see mood deterioration, above.

See Mom stress about inability to use timesaving crockpot, vaccum cleaner, washing machine, chest freezer, dishwasher, dryer, microwave etc either because of the lack of solar energy to run them or the lack of said appliance due to moral/frugality ideals. Cursed ideals!

See Mom sitting alone in cubicle, trying to motivate self to do random silent office work, feeling ever-increasingly guilty about goals not met. See Mom trying to tell herself she is lucky to have job, etc. See Mom remain unconvinced.

THE WORST ONE: (that lead me to post this when I held back yesterday, thinking it too whiney): See Baby exhibit separation anxiety FOR the daycare provider (ie cry/reach for her this morning, over Mom.) Ouch.


See Mom try desperately to rise above situation and motivate some sort of big family/professional change; sell house? Move to town? Stage big fit? Freelance? Beg for money? Hmmm. Any advice or inspiration out there? Stay tuned!

Cleansing Bean

Yeah, yeah...I know. Too negative. I've been chided (off-blog) for not appreciating the good things I have in life, etc. It's true, I suppose, somewhat; I get too easily caught up in the small dramas in front of us, the whining about my not-so-bad situation. But when you're stuck in something, it's hard to get perspective and make needed changes, sometimes. Just venting a bit, and this is MY blog; I do what I want. Have likely scared away most old regular readers, anyway, so.



We'll cleanse with a cute photo of a sunbathing Bean, taken a couple weeks ago by WF while I was at work... ooops, there I go again...

Anyway, been meaning to make it my desktop wallpaper; hope work doesn't mind a little baby nudity!

3 Days

Variety IS the spice of life, eh? Check out my weekend summary:

Visited 1.5 week old baby born in a log cabin built by his daddy; brought food to help with their off-grid new-baby life.

Attended a baby shower (with Bean) that included a great wisdom-sharing circle and other blessings for a baby boy-to-be, the son of two mommies older than me.

Sat briefly by the shore of the big Lake, watching waves and showing Bean smooth rocks

Found myself fainted on the floor of the bathroom at 3 am, then revisited my dinner in a most unpleasant way; scared us all, but recovered quickly. Food poisoning?

Worked a little on cleaning, and seriously stressed about an upcoming visit by a realtor; need to do more cleaning!!!

Decided we DO have a case of thrush, and ran around the town looking for grape seed extract. Hope we can catch it pretty quick; Bean’s got white patches on his tongue and is grumpy about nursing. Acidophilus, Vinegar, sunlight, grapeseed extract is our current arsenal; we’ll see; fingers crossed.

Attended a great play called BIRTH; I had helped with publicity for the local show. Saw my own “belly pics” from late pregnancy projected on the wall as part of the play (surprise!).

Sat on stage after the play as part of a panel that included my midwife, lactation consultant and other amazing local women; I was the last-minute “mother/consumer” participant; an honor!

Ran home after the play to meet old friends from Alaska who were passing through town and dropped by with little notice; was so good to see them, but wow!

Started getting stuffy and feeling like I was coming down with a cold by Sunday evening…

From baby to wisdom to throwing up to sitting on stage to welcoming old friends; what a wild ride! But now it’s Monday, and I’m supposed to be productive at work, and should be avoiding coffee (with cream) and sugar for thrush-prevention reasons. Hmmmm.

Today is Tuesday

It's my once-a-week Tuesday post! Just barely. Beginning a new pattern, here, I see. Too busy and scattered to get many more posts up, lately.

I've been trying and trying to upload a very cute video of the Bean rolling over, but it just won't work. Alas. Just imagine a very determined little guy, working hard to get over that pesky arm, then making it juuuust over that hump and plop! Onto the belly with some enthusiastic kicking and squealing. Very cute. Now he makes it look pretty easy, but it's still exciting (for all of us!)

I do have evidence of a new milestone, though; hiking with the Ergo in the back position! He did well, sleeping through some short North Shore hikes while we were on our way back from a rare out-of-town work event for me.

Awww... I tried this position today, and found it much more comfy for MY back, too... I like having him in the front-carry position, but it's killing my posture. And I'm not being wimpy; we found out today that he just doesn't seem big, he IS big! Now he's OVER the 95th percentile for all measurements; my little overachiever. Or maybe certain parts of my anatomy are the overachievers... hmmmm.

Update on days

I had Tuesday off, and I managed to get to not one, but THREE momma/baby daytime gatherings. Whew. It messed a bit with Bean’s nap times, but he’s an adaptable little guy and caught a few zzzz’s in the car or in my lap.

I hear quite a bit about stay-at-home moms feeling isolated, but I really think there’s an element of isolation for working moms, too. So many library story times, La Leche League, Mothersong and other gatherings are during the day when I’m trapped in my cubicle. I realized I hadn’t seen another baby in a long time; very sad. So Tuesday was a festival of visiting; it was GREAT.

Soon, it will be helpful for Bean to be with other kids his age, but for now, it’s mostly for me to gather with other moms and to really revel in my new role, as well as talking baby stuff with others. People tell me, “Oh, he’ll be FINE in daycare, look at how happy he is, lalala…” But that’s not the whole picture. I want to be the best mom I can be, and for me right now that involves getting together with other moms and babies. Where else can I ask about cradle cap and co-sleeping?

I’m hopeful that this new schedule of Tuesdays off will work for a while, at least until my part-time window ends and I’m back to 5-day-a-week cubicle confinement. I’m even sensing less resentment for my cubicle today, if I can get away from it during the times when other moms are gathering… horray!

(Written on Wednesday, finally posted today!)

Quick updates

1. Our bacterial fauna is doing well! I avoided sugar, dairy and most wheat for the past 10 days and think we've dodged thrush during this antibiotics round. I even think I lost a pound or two... getting really close to wearing some pre-pregnancy jeans.

2. Bean and I had a 3-day adventure at a rural women's gathering, staying in a tent, etc. It was wonderful; he takes well to tents. We enjoyed the time together with fewer distractions and time with other women and kids. Why can't life be like that all the time?

3. We had FROST last night! Fall is coming... we've had a some summer adventures, but I feel a bit desperate to have a few more before the cold temps come in!

4. Bawk! We still have 18 happy young chickens, 5 still with their momma hen, 13 "teens" on their own. Picture someday?

5. I napped this weekend and am now suffering from the Monday evening sleepies... need to get moving to bed. Zzzzzz.

The Baby Year

Note: I still want to write up and post a standard “birth story” about Bean’s arrival, but time flies. This post summarizes the adventure; it should probably be edited and posted in parts, but here goes. Maybe more later, if you’ll indulge me by reading. It’s a big topic!

Today could be considered my last official “pregnancy milestone"... one year since the day we found out that Bean was on the way! I want to mark the day with a posting, because it wraps up a great year of learning and growing for both me and the Bean. This was a rather conscious pregnancy. Earlier in my life, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be pregnant (by choice, not a health issue) and always felt a bit sad to think I might never know what it felt like to grow another human and feel that new person (!) kicking inside me.

Then, when I found myself happily and quickly pregnant as an older introspective person, I dove in wholeheartedly. We’re still not sure if we’ll try for more kids (we’re old, y’know), so I knew this might be my one chance to revel in pregnancy.

I was blessed to become part of a “birth community” in my town, a group of wise women who celebrate and teach about this amazing process. I read books, took natural birth classes, attended meetings and benefited from the services of great midwives and doulas. I kept a pregnancy journal, took belly pictures and even made a belly cast. I did specific stretches and generally trained for the big event of birth, trusting that my body knew what to do and could do it well. I felt good, if a bit tired and gigantic at the end!

When the big day (or days, in our case) came, it was indeed a grand adventure. Sure, it took over 40 hours and ended with a very much unwanted C-section, but I still had a great sense of accomplishment in what we did.

No pain meds during labor, just lots of chanting and breathing and moving. Not a quiet birth at a home, but a still a conscious birth, with good bonding time for WF and Bean while I was in surgery. Not immediate, naked nursing for a newborn Bean, but no pacifiers or formula, either, and no time spent in the nursery alone. We weren’t attended in labor mostly by my doula, but by a nurse who was surprised to be a part of “natural” labor and who was eventually won over by the effectiveness of the chanting; she could see positive effects on the monitors. (We all thought that the pitocin, tried after the first day of labor at my doula's home, would get us to the final, natural push). No rushed pressure from doctors: I was literally still standing (on the bed) when it came time to decide on surgery. Bean wasn’t “caught” by my midwife, but brought into the world by a respectful woman OB.

So, when people tell me they are sorry to hear about my “ordeal,” I find myself trying to explain that it wasn’t so bad! It’s like running a marathon, I think; ideally lots of training and anticipation before hand, then the actual marathon of labor. It may have some painful times and some exhilarating times, but a good result/accomplishment at the end. I chose to run this marathon; it just happened to take longer and ended differently than we expected. People don’t usually express sympathy to those who choose to run marathons, do they?

We did, of course, end up with a healthy, happy Bean from this whole process. He is the most important piece, but I’m grateful for the experience, as well. I still don’t really understand why my body did have some health issues and needed “modern” help in the end to get Bean out. My midwives say that perhaps I am one of the 5% who truly need a C-section (as opposed to the 35% of so who currently get them). Does that mean that we be dead if this was 100 years ago? Maybe. But we also suspect that I pushed myself a bit too hard during pregnancy, working through symptoms of pre-eclampsia, which eventually came on full-blown during labor.

Who knows. But the hospital ending was certainly NOT caused by our natural choices, and instead my preparation made me better able to handle the process of pitocin and eventual surgery. I still believe in natural birth. I would try for another home birth, given the chance. Pregnancy and birth are amazing, and opportunities to know your body’s power. It’s been a wild, wonderful year!

Top of Mind

Wow, those weekend adventures DO wear us out. I'm finally through my shortened work week, and zzzzzz. I think I have a sinus infection, and milk production is down (at least when pumping -?!?) The house is a mess; life gets too busy. Back home now for a few days, but for an upcoming journey in time this weekend.

I finally got my hair cut yesterday, with the person who actually did a good job about 2 cuts ago, which was 2 years ago. Not sure if it was an off day for her, but the cut is rather odd and very short; it got past my cardinal "long enough for a ponytail" rule while she was trying to fix it up. Ah, well... as I've learned from many bad cuts over my life: it'll grow back.

It was quite a production to get in to get a haircut; where would Bean be? WF walked him around the neighboorhood while the stylist took a looong time trying to figure out my odd hair (neither of us could really remember what she did last time). I was happy to be done with some of the length and had been planning to get it cut for a long time; top priority was not getting in my way at night or during diaper changes, etc.

It wasn't until leaving that I remembered that I am due to peform in 1912 garb this coming weekend, and this haircut will NOT work very well for that. Phooey! I used to consider my infrequent but much-enjoyed living history appearances when choosing glasses or haircuts, or at least the timing. If only I'd waited till next week!

But I'm not too upset; we'll make it work. Just another example of the new baby-mind taking over former priorities, I guess!

Power Lament

My public service message for today:

Have you ever considered living “off the grid”? Before you make the leap (or tell me how lucky I am) please consider the whole lifestyle picture. Are you raising a small child? Working outside the home? Pumping mama-milk to store for later? Suspecting that you have an excess of a certain enzyme that makes milk go sour soon? Frustrated with a freezer that can’t store much or freeze very cold?

Then, by gosh, DON’T DO IT! Stay connected to that massive grid, hold tight to your power cord, for now. Yes, I appreciate that we get most of our energy from the sun, but I am ruing the day that WF made this decision (before my time here). Mostly because of the freezer situation, again. A Sunfrost refrigerator is a lovely investment in efficiency, but in practice, the thing is damp, tiny and not very cold. Fine for single ascetics, not so great for moms trying to work and pump and store milk safely for the baby.

Granted, I am also likely dealing with an enzyme issue that the freezer can’t help, but I HATE pouring out the hard-won human milk that has become foul-tasting in our lovely fridge/freezer.

In a perfect world (or at least my current view of perfect, ha), I wouldn’t be away from Bean so much and therefore wouldn’t need to pump and fret about storage for later. I’m struggling with the separation, no matter what our silly electricity situation may be. It’s so hard to stay motivated at “work” when it feels like there are more important things to be doing in my own life. Sigh…

And I’ll admit that the solar panels ARE appreciated and entertaining sometimes, and WF had no way of knowing that this would be our current life situation way back when he made these decisions. Just trying to get up the oomph and sort out logistics to make some changes to our life SOON, one way or another.

Nesting, quietly

I'm still here, still very much "expecting"! It was a busy week; work has not let up and I still seem pushed by some internal energy to GET STUFF DONE at home, so was not resting or relaxing very much. I've gotten a stern talking-to by my midwife and others... my blood pressure was creeping up and my legs are a fright; very swollen.

So. Time to rest. And drink more water, eat more protein, and other good nutritional/herbal things. The last BP check on Friday showed a much better reading. I'm letting go of many things on my list, taking it easy this weekend.


That means testing out the new glider, and finally finishing the VERY FIRST sweater I have ever knit. Schroeder was happy to help anchor me while I sat. I am not a prolific knitter, and thought a baby sweater would be good start. 4 months later, it's finished! And cute... It was a good, simple pattern that made me practice a few things I've never really done; seaming, button holes, more increases and decreases. A good project.


And in a nod to "Grandma's" interest in Beatrix Potter, a Peter Rabbit button...


So, one more thing done before baby... he or she could come at any time. Due date is still a few days away... we'll try to update to keep you posted! Feeling good, trying to fathom this new adventure. Wish us luck!

Packing

It feels just a tiny bit surreal to be packing a suitcase half filled with clothing and items for a person who isn't here yet. He or she is "with me" in a very visible sense (Frequent conversation right now: Yes, I am enormous, thank you for noticing. Nope, not expecting twins...), baby-to-be doesn't require diapers or hats or blankets just yet.

I'm feeling a little stressed that baby will arrive before I'm ready (is anyone ever really ready?) but starting to pack my "going to town" bag has helped me feel a bit more prepared. We have decided to have the birth at my doula's home in town; she's offering to do laundry and have food for us, and is closer to "modern" medical locations if needed. I feel very comfortable with this decision and happy that it is an option. She would like to start a birth center in her home, our town's first alternative birthing option.

Ah... if only I could focus just on birth and baby stuff right now. Work has been crazy, and certain government agencies are madly throwing money at me, money that has to be quickly spent and accounted for in formal ways. Why do grant applications sound like a good idea at the time, but then... one wonders. Especially when it's time for reports and reimbursements and blah!

Baby, please stay put for just a little while longer so this mama-to-be can focus solely on you and not on in-kind hours and budget narratives in between feedings. Fingers crossed, breathe deep, productivity!

35 at 35

Just in case there was any question about if I am really pregnant, or just HOW pregnant I might be, here's the obligatory belly shot:


GTR at 35 years: Baby at 35 weeks!

Yep, gettin' big. Carrying forward, so looking even MORE impressive ("ready to pop" has already been mentioned). I still feel pretty good, but sleeping is getting harder and some swelling of hands/feet is happening. Just month (probably?) to go, lots to get done at work, of all places. Home is getting more ready; LOTS of baby stuff is now organized in the room, other rooms look more livable, too. Thanks to my parents and brother/sister-in-law for helping last weekend!

Regular posting to resume, sometime..