It feels just a tiny bit surreal to be packing a suitcase half filled with clothing and items for a person who isn't here yet. He or she is "with me" in a very visible sense (Frequent conversation right now: Yes, I am enormous, thank you for noticing. Nope, not expecting twins...), baby-to-be doesn't require diapers or hats or blankets just yet.
I'm feeling a little stressed that baby will arrive before I'm ready (is anyone ever really ready?) but starting to pack my "going to town" bag has helped me feel a bit more prepared. We have decided to have the birth at my doula's home in town; she's offering to do laundry and have food for us, and is closer to "modern" medical locations if needed. I feel very comfortable with this decision and happy that it is an option. She would like to start a birth center in her home, our town's first alternative birthing option.
Ah... if only I could focus just on birth and baby stuff right now. Work has been crazy, and certain government agencies are madly throwing money at me, money that has to be quickly spent and accounted for in formal ways. Why do grant applications sound like a good idea at the time, but then... one wonders. Especially when it's time for reports and reimbursements and blah!
Baby, please stay put for just a little while longer so this mama-to-be can focus solely on you and not on in-kind hours and budget narratives in between feedings. Fingers crossed, breathe deep, productivity!