Dear Mr. Rhin O. Virus:
I do believe you’ve left an elephant shoved up inside my sinuses. Kindly remove it at once. Consider this also your eviction notice, effective immediately.
You have definitely overstayed our temporary rental agreement. Your little party in my sinuses has been so wild that it is completely blocking all exits to those delicate little caverns. Not only is this a fire (and breathing) hazard, it has trapped your dirty little bacterial friends inside. They’ve taken your cue and begun wild, drunken partying as well. I do not appreciate elephants in sinuses, nor green, sludgy snot.
I have reluctantly called in reinforcements, kindly given to me by modern western medical practitioners. Your complete disregard for my kinder methods (goldenseal and echinacea, herbal steam, saline neti pot washes, massive amounts of assorted teas) and the subsequent bacterial bash has led me to this unusually drastic measure. You additional disregard for my need for sleep to have brain power to address serious work projects has also increased my animosity.
“Is this a tissue I see before me? Out, damned snot! Out, I say!”